Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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