Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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