Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize