I think I died a long time ago.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize