Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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