carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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