There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Randomize