i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
