The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
