I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
