she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
