So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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