Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
