Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
