Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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