this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
