He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
