Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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