I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
