I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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