my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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