I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize