Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
We are two peas in an std pod
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I wear drunk well.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
