so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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