Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
