called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
