the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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