It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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