i jhust puked up my retainher.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
