She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
