I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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