I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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