my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
You're a waste of cheezeits
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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