Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
The feeling are messing with the penis
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
