i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize