Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
