I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
