ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
