Got a toothbrush?
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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