it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize