Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
