I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
