Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
