he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
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