That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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