Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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