Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
