True but thats because hes a fetus.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
