So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
