I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize