You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Randomize
