She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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