Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
