I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
